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How to help your kids through your divorce

Children can amaze us in many ways. Whether they are creative, top-notch students, or impressive in another way, your kids are likely some of your greatest treasures.

Unfortunately, children often cannot understand adult relationships. This is evident during the divorce of a child’s parents. A divorce can disrupt a child’s sense of normalcy and make them feel different from the other kids in school who have non-divorced parents.

It’s safe to say that you must give special consideration to your children during a divorce to help them process this new situation. Here are a few ways to support your children through your divorce:

  • Let them know they’re not alone. Aside from encouraging them to share their feelings with you, let them know of other adults they can talk to like grandparents, religious leaders, or counselors. Allowing complicated emotions to bottle up can make dealing with their parents’ divorce more complicated.
  • Maintain a sense of normalcy. Divorce disrupts everyone’s lives but finding little ways to make things familiar for your kids can help them manage. If you had family traditions like watching certain shows together or spaghetti dinner night, continue those things if you can.
  • Keep the divorce between the adults. It’s easier than you think to put kids in the middle of your divorce. You can avoid putting your kids in this position by communicating with your ex-spouse about things like visitation, putting your ex down in front of them, asking your kids about your ex-spouse’s decisions after divorce. Let your children be children and communicate directly with your co-parent or their attorney, if necessary, about legal matters instead.

Healing takes time

It’s not uncommon for someone to hurt after their divorce and this is also true of children. Letting your kids know you’re there for them and you’ll always listen are two great ways to start helping your kids process the divorce. Who knows, talking to your children may provide you comfort as well.

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Louis Charles Shapiro, P.A.
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Vineland, NJ 08360

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